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About being in Therapy

Very important in the therapeutic process is learning to say things that may feel very hard to say, whether they are personal and from the past, from one’s wider life or pertaining directly to our thoughts and feelings about our therapist.

When I was first in psychotherapy I believed as many of my clients do when they first arrive, that therapy works a certain way. Often this assumption will have some elements of truth to it; however it most often doesn’t comprehend the depths of the process. The assumption which we most regularly encounter is that we will be fixed by our therapist, that we will tell him or her our troubles and that this will get the feelings out and the problem will simply go away.

Though there is some truth in this, it is an oversimplified characterisation of the therapeutic process.


The best way that I can explain the process of being a client is that it’s a collaborative journey of discovery into the mystery of the true self; a challenge of healthy expression and a shedding of identities which we have outgrown and no longer serve us.

Therapy can only move as fast as the client and no matter how hard a therapist might push, actually pushing is irrelevant and unhelpful. When we can see and really feel our challenge from a place of clarity, then the task requires no push.

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